A Change in Direction

This blog will be undergoing a change in direction. My writing has become an obsession, so I'll (for the most part) talk about that only now.

When someone picks up their pen and say "I am a writer", they split into two personalities, the Writer and the Critic. A typical conversation with the Critic tends to go something like this...

Critic: That dialog's flatter than roadkill on I-80.

Writer: I know. Shut up. I just need to finish the first draft, and then I'll listen to you.

Critic: (Silent for a moment) No one's ever going to want to read something like that.

Writer: I know. But you can't revise something that doesn't exist.

Critic: That dialog's flatter than roadkill on I-80.

There is no way to completely sqaush the critic, but I have found that making episodes with the Writer and the Critic makes the Critic's jabbering more amusing than anything.  For now, here is a more amusing one.

Critic: There's a plot hole.

Writer: I have eyes, too. I'll deal with it later. I'm nearly done with my first draft. Can't you shut up until then?

Critic: And if I did you'd never get published.

Writer: (Picks up a piece of bad dialog)

Critic: Glad to see you're finally paying-

BONK!

Critic: I can't believe you just hit me with that-

BONK!

Critic: (Staggers) Of all the nerve-

BONK!

Critic: (Collapses, unconcious)

Writer: Maybe I'll be done with this scene by the time he wakes up.